A revolution without dancing...

Laughter rises up from a group sitting at a picnic table beneath the starlight. They are seated on the patio of Gibson's on S. Lamaar, some are finishing their inside-out sandwiches, most have a drink or two in front of them. Glasses clink. Threads are being spun and woven between this mix of faculty, graduate students, prospective students, family and friends. But most importantly, there is laughter.

The evening would soon take them to other parts of the city to enjoy live music at Emo's, with a special concert by The Noise Revival Orchestra. Naturally, there was dancing. A revolution without dancing is not worth having.

"What revolution?," you ask?

Why, one of the many upheavals that have/will occur throughout my lifetime brought forth by my own hands, of course! It is time, once again, to pack my bags and prepare for a new beginning. As it stands, I am months deep into the process. Yet, every day brings new opportunities- it is sometimes difficult to keep up as I continue forward. Still, these are exciting times.

Throughout the next 5 months, I will be getting myself ready to move across the country. I shall be ridding myself of most of my possessions, either through gift, donation or garage sale. The only items I intend to keep are my clothes, books, kitchenware and naturally, the mammals. But realistically, whatever I can fit in my car. This purging of goods is a way of starting from scratch- bringing only the bare necessities along with me.

"Okay... so where are you moving?"

That's a good question. I'm not entirely sure yet. But I can tell you that my recent visit to Austin has me leaning very much towards that option. I mean, on a superficial level I have to say, you have no idea how amazing it is to hear your name pronounced properly, consistently, after not hearing it for nearly two decades. On a more practical level, UT has a lot to offer me (something I will address in a later post) in terms of resources and support. I have been admitted with funding to UO and now I only wait for UA to let me know their admissions decision.

So, as the coming weeks bring a dramatic shift in my working situation, so too will they bring news of my nearing future. Until then... patience.

Something completely different...

The evening began as a call to arms.

Rather, a call for open arms.

There was a time that I felt threatened by most other women. Girls. I was a girl then. I never would have dreamed that these rivals would someday turn out to be my greatest blessings.

But that's a different story entirely.

I am reminded this evening, by my dear friends, how important it is to have a network of strong women in my life. For support, encouragement, acceptance, love... you know, that stuff that as humans we all need. This reminder has prompted me to write tonight.

After an evening filled with laughter an acceptance I came home feeling good. Over the last few days I have been feeling so much lighter and at ease. I'm truly thankful to the women, and men, in my life who have helped to make this so. Holiday drama aside, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking lately. As my thesis progresses and my graduation date draws near many have posed the same question to me: What will you do when you have your Master's degree?

For the longest time I had a laundry list of possibilities but never gave deep consideration to any of them. What can I say, I'm indecisive. Also, I always have felt that when the time came I would know in my heart of hearts that __________ was what I wanted to do. It just hasn't been that time yet.

Call me sentimental.

Now, I'm not saying I've simply sat back and have left everything up to fate. I still believe in my own ability to have a say in what my fate shall be. I've been perusing the internet in search of jobs in social justice work in the U.S. and internationally, as a professor at a community college, positions with the UN and elsewhere... yet nothing has really struck me.

Earlier I came across this quote by Rumi and decided to share it via our favorite social networking site:

Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love.

As I experienced the bonding and support shared by my cohorts this evening I remembered.

I remembered that feeling I had when I came home from Nicaragua. That desire to do something good in the world. The experience I had while volunteering was glorious and it made me see the importance of participating in social action.

When I returned home I found a letter in my inbox. It was a general cross-posting to a Feminist Geography listserve that I belong to- it was a solicitation (if you will) for a relatively new PhD program in Pennsylvania. The focus of this particular program is Globalization, Sustainability and Social Justice. Hm.. you have my interest.

After reading up on the description of the program I was still intrigued and looked through the list of Faculty.

As I read through the interests of one professor: ...feminist and critical race studies, social action research, community organizing by the poor, social change and the role of academics play... My heart kind of did something. I'd liken it to a tug.

Maybe this is the peanut butter talking... I want to go on for my PhD.

It sounds crazy, I know.

This program may not be the one for me but it has me thinking. I need to look into this further. Maybe I'm too late in the game or maybe this is the right time. Either way, I'm going to pursue this for now because it feels right.

I'm hoping to have another meeting with my advisor in the next week and ojala que she will have good advice for me. Risa has been so helpful and encouraging this last year. I think that if she hadn't been around I wouldn't have had as great of an experience with this academic process as I have had so far.

I'm not going to lie, this has me scared. Excited. But ultimately scared. As E put it, "The possibility of dreams can be terrifying." She's more spot on than I care to admit.

I end this evening with arms outstretched.

It's been a blessed day (and night).