Lately I've been feeling incredible stress. With the end of the quarter drawing near and final research papers piling up, it's easy to let academia get the better of me. Yet to add to this duress I have been dealing with the "loss" of my partner. Maybe that's too strong of a word. We haven't broken up, nor are we experiencing any real turmoil in our relationship. He has gone away to Ranger School, a great honor but concomitantly, an intense combat leadership course. He will be away for anywhere between two to six months, depending on whether or not he gets recycled. So aside from the fact that we wont be able to speak, write or see each other during that time, he will be experiencing some extreme physical strain (in addition to sleep deprivation and high-stress situations... among other things). Which, reading up on some of the things he will be going through, makes me a little scared for him.
Today, though, I realized (as per usual) that worrying really does not change the situation. He was elected to join the Rangers (a great honor!) and he chose to go. This is a great opportunity for him! Also, he is a natural born leader and is more than able to meet any physical challenges that come his way. I know that although it's going to be very tough, he is going to do so very well while he's in Ranger School. I'm really proud of him!
Another realization through all of this: maybe I am cut out to be in a relationship. We're pretty solid, I haven't experienced such a reciprocal relationship before and am so happy with where we're at. I don't know if I believe the whole, "there's only one person out there for me" bruhaha, but for now, I'm very happy with who I am with. There is something to be said for sharing love, acceptance, trust and appreciation with someone else. It's beautiful, it's comforting, it's grounding.
There's no telling what the future brings and since he is in the Army ours is a precarious situation. Regardless, life is all about appreciating what you have now and enjoying the present moment. Worrying about the future or what has happened in the past does nothing to improve a situation. I am so thankful for being blessed with such a wonderful person in my life, and for all of my loving and supportive friends and family.
It is a beautiful day.
