It's interesting, I began to write this blog yesterday and before getting beyond that paragraph I received a message from my roommate: "You got a letter today." It was the letter I had been secretly hoping to receive, weeks of only hearsay from friends and family sustained my thoughts somewhat but deep down I hoped I would also receive some form of contact from him. I could hardly contain myself, sheer joy swept over my body and I told my roommate that I would be home soon. Instead he volunteered to bring the letter to the office for me.
They say, there is a time and a place for everything. At this particular time, in my office, I was awash with every emotion one could experience and I had no other way of dealing with it other than letting each one come. A friend told me to calm down but I couldn't contain myself and I feel that if I had it would be much harder, so I let myself feel. Then I let it pass. It took some time, a trip to the gym, some rearranging of furniture in my house, a phone call from a dear friend... I'm still feeling waves of emotion throughout the day and I can do nothing else but let it be. It is what it is. I don't believe I could be this strong without the help of my friends, my extended family.
My trip to Grand Rapids this last weekend was needed. I can't help but believe that the universe was preparing me for this. All weekend I was surrounded by love and acceptance from strong, amazing women. My cup overflowed. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All of you wonderful people who were able to take a moment out of your day to spend some time with me. I am so blessed to have you in my life. Even if we only saw each other for a moment, it was needed and that love you gave me is so appreciated.
In times like these it's easy to sink into a hole, shutting everyone out to analyze everything that must have gone wrong. I haven't done that and I wont do it. This is the choice that I have made. I will not let this struggle get the best of me but I will meet it with my best. My life is full of blessings and I have been provided with all that I need to get through this.
I'm happy to have experienced this. I'm sad that it must end but I knew someday it would... just didn't expect it to be so soon. I'm not bitter. How could I be? It is what it is. My experience on this journey has been a great one. I've learned so much about myself, what I'm capable of, the joy that can be shared and the connections that can be made.
People come into our lives and our paths cross for some time. During that time we learn what we can from each other. Sometimes we don't recognize what it is that someone is teaching us until years after our paths diverge. Eventually we do have to walk on separate paths and that is okay. I'm thankful that ours converged for the time that it did and that I am able to appreciate this lesson now and will be able to take that with me as I continue my journey.
Again, thank you so much to everyone who has shown me love and continues to share that with me. You are amazing and I'm blessed to have you in my life.
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