Forgive and...

I have been carrying around a lot of resentment lately. There are some folks out there that have done me wrong and I found out a little too late to do anything about it. I managed the fallout for what I actually had control over (which was very little, like much in life) relatively well and I am doing much better now.

In times of disagreement or misunderstanding, I prefer to open the lines of communication in order to get to the heart of the matter. Unfortunately, the timing is far too late to truly deal with these issues now. Folks remain oblivious, much as I was when all of this went down, but the wounds are fresh for me. I have felt hurt, betrayed, vulnerable, and more recently, angry.

I don't like to be angry. It's not me.

I heard a great quote today by Nelson Mandela, "Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies."

Truly, holding on to anger and resentment does not help this situation. Harboring such feelings really only causes me more pain. It's not fun. I don't want them to cloud my heart any longer. That seems awfully selfish. But the longer I hold on to this resentment, the longer I will remain as an ugly person. I say ugly, because I feel very ugly for acting distant and unlike myself. I want to return to warm, sincere, goofy, fun-loving me. I know that we must wear different masks for different spaces but I don't like the ugly one.

So, I am trying to conjure up the compassion within me to forgive others. It's really hard. It's so much easier to be angry. I feel like they should know how I feel that I've been wronged. But what good will that do? I don't need to be "right" about this and I don't want to cause any more friction.

But I'm not really sure where I should begin in order to forgive sincerely. How do I let go?